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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23835928">Bi</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaultJane/pseuds/DefaultJane'>DefaultJane</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff and Humor, Intersex, Oral Sex, Other, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:20:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23835928</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaultJane/pseuds/DefaultJane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Helena has a hard time explaining to Hunnigan why she hadn’t yet agreed to consummate their relationship. It’s been over half a year and Hunnigan is getting impatient, and Helena has to come clean about her deepest most personal secret.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Helena Harper/Ingrid Hunnigan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Once upon a time the words "fake blowjob" came up in a conversation between myself and my best friend, and I said "Hunnigan mimes a blowjob and plot twist, Helena actually gets an erection that slaps the glasses off Hunnigan's face", and since then saying "Helena said to her dick" when a character in a movie/show/whatever says a terrible line became an ongoing joke between us. And what you are about to read is the result of me turning a never ending series of terrible dick jokes into a Hunniper-story. Enjoy. xD</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You know what they say about chewing ice,” Leon commented as he walked up to Hunnigan’s office and saw her remove the lid of her drink, tilt her cup back and catch a hollow piece of ice into her mouth. <br/>
“No, I don’t,” Hunnigan muttered, proceeding to crush it between her teeth aggressively.</p><p>“That it’s a sign of sexual frustration,” Leon said and Hunnigan rolled her eyes.<br/>
“I am not sexually frustrated so they’re wrong, whoever they are,” she said. It was a lie but she sure as hell wasn’t going to tell as much to Leon.</p><p>“Sure you’re not. When was the last time you and Helena made sweet, sweet luuurve?” he drawled and Hunnigan barely resisted the urge to spit ice at him.<br/>
“It’s adorable you think I’d ever tell you,” she said instead.</p><p>“I knew you’d say that but you can’t blame me for trying.”<br/>
“I can and I do. Did you need something?” Hunnigan then asked.</p><p>“No, just wanted to say hello.”<br/>
“Hello and goodbye, I’m busy,” she dismissed him, slid the last piece of ice into her mouth and threw the paper cup into the trash.</p><p>“You’re breaking my heart, Ingrid.”<br/>
“Get out or I’ll break your balls.”</p><p>“That’s just your sexual frustration talking. Bye!” Leon said cheerfully and finally exited her office. </p><p>Hunnigan sighed in annoyance and turned her attention back to her computer. She should have been focusing on reading reports from the various branches of CDC and WHO and checking to see if there was anything that should require the DSO’s involvement in case it seemed biological agents were being weaponized and used within the US borders. </p><p>However, despite her efforts to concentrate, her mind kept wandering because Leon was right, she was sexually frustrated. What made it all more frustrating was being in a relationship with someone, and knowing that someone undoubtedly would reject any attempt to initiate sex if the past attempts were anything to go by. </p><p>Hunnigan didn’t get it. She’d been dating Helena for over six months now, and they spent so much of their free time together they were practically living together, but still there was one very big step they hadn’t yet taken in their relationship. At first Hunnigan had found it nice, not rushing into anything, waiting for the right moment when everything clicked, the planets aligned, the universe shifted, and other such nonsense, and they’d finally have mind blowing sex while Maggie Reilly’s “Everytime we touch” plays in the background, the act ending in a perfectly timed shared orgasm that would leave them feeling high and relaxed for days. </p><p>Or some other similar and equally stupidly romantic and unrealistic stuff that never happened to anyone in real life, and based on past experience, especially not to Ingrid Hunnigan who looking back could sum up her sex life in one word, and that word was “disappointing”. At this point Hunnigan would’ve settled for the less grandiose and stupidly romantic and far more likely and realistic version of breaking a sweat with Helena while trying to clumsily figure out each other’s anatomy, likes and dislikes, one of them falling off the bed at some point or tripping in their clothes as they tried to undress. </p><p>But it hadn’t happened, not romantically, not realistically, not on special occasions like birthdays, Christmas, New Year’s or most recently Valentine’s day (which would’ve been the best opportunity to go for it, but when Hunnigan had asked Helena if she wanted to spend the night, Helena had told her “maybe some other time” and gone home), and quite frankly it was beginning to bother her. It wasn’t just the sexual frustration that got to her (she could deal with that by literally taking the matter into her own hands), it was the not knowing why. </p><p><em> If I’m so damn repulsive, why is she still dating me? </em> she asked herself as she bit on the last solid piece of ice in her mouth. </p><p>“Oh, forget it,” she sighed, shut the laptop’s lid agitatedly and packed it into her shoulder bag, heading out of the office. It was almost five and she’d been there since seven in the morning, and it was becoming obvious she wouldn’t be able to get any work done anyway. Not until she’d had a serious chat with Helena.</p>
<hr/><p>“We need to talk” was never a good thing to hear, but especially not so when coming in the form of a text message from the woman you were in a relationship with. When she arrived at Hunnigan’s apartment, Helena felt like she was on her way to a dinner where she’d be served as the main course, raw and alive. </p><p>“Hey you,” she smiled and to her relief, Hunnigan smiled back, so perhaps this wouldn’t be the end of everything. Hunnigan did have a tendency to forget how blunt and cold she could sound in texts, maybe she just wanted to have a simple chat about something and didn’t realize how her text had come across. At least that was what Helena chose to continue hoping despite knowing the odds were against her. </p><p>“Hey you yourself,” Hunnigan smiled and closed her eyes when Helena planted a gentle kiss onto the corner of her mouth. </p><p>“Wanna open this?” Helena then asked, holding up the bottle of wine she’d brought, thinking she couldn’t go wrong with one; if nothing else she could drink it herself to drown her sorrow if this would turn out to be a break up-type of a “we need to talk”-situation. </p><p>“Sure thing,” Hunnigan nodded and went to do so while Helena went to take a seat on the couch. Something called <em> The 50 worst movies ever made </em> was playing on the TV and Helena focused on the terrible special effects and wooden acting depicted in the clips of bad movies as she tried to take her mind off the upcoming conversation. </p><p>Hunnigan joined her a moment later, placing two glasses of the wine on the coffee table. She then raised her feet onto the couch and leaned into Helena, who moved her arm so that it was resting around Hunnigan’s shoulders. Helena could take it for a few minutes before she had to speak up.</p><p>“So, uhm... you said you wanted to talk about something?” she inquired, reached for her wine and took a long drink.</p><p>“Yeah, but now I’m not sure if it was important,” Hunnigan muttered and waited until Helena had finished replacing her glass back on the table and was leaning back once more before she slipped her fingers underneath the hem of Helena’s T-shirt. </p><p>“Mmm, you really shouldn’t text people the notorious ‘we need to talk’ and make them dread the entire day and then finish it all by saying you have nothing to say,” Helena scolded quietly and moved to rest her hand over Hunnigan’s to prevent it from wandering further up along her abdomen. Hunnigan sighed at the interruption.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to make you worry.”<br/>
“I know, you don’t think how you sound in text,” Helena smirked. </p><p>“I’m trying, I swear, but I just... forget,” Hunnigan assured her.</p><p>“I believe you,” Helena nodded and kissed her forehead. “But just... tell me, what’s on your mind,” she then mumbled against Hunnigan’s skin. She sighed deeply again, sat up straight and took a long drink from her glass holding up her finger to silently tell Helena to hold on, and finished the wine with a large swallow.</p><p>“Okay, you’re making me nervous, what is happening?” Helena chuckled awkwardly.<br/>
“Sorry, I’m a little nervous myself because it’s such an... uncomfortable subject to have to discuss but I think we need to,” Hunnigan sighed. </p><p>Helena swallowed hard. In all honesty, she’d expected this to come up sooner or later. Frankly, she was surprised it had taken this long to come up. But even with the extra time, she hadn’t been able to come up with a way to explain her situation to Hunnigan. </p><p>What made it so ridiculous was that Helena was used to explaining her condition to people, she had all the terms, all the answers to frequently asked questions, she’d had the conversation several times with doctors during physical check ups the agencies she’d worked at had performed. But telling Hunnigan about it was... harder.</p><p>At this point, Helena was afraid that disclosing the truth would make Hunnigan feel betrayed, like she’d been led on, that Helena had lied to her. Technically, this would only count as lying by omission, but she was willing to bet big bucks that Hunnigan wouldn’t care about the little difference. At the very least she had reason to be upset because it had taken until now before Helena had ever said anything. That was assuming she’d bother being upset with Helena beyond telling her to leave and possibly end their relationship. </p><p>“What’s on your mind?” Helena whispered.<br/>
“We need to talk about our sex life. Or the lack of one.”</p><p>“...okay?”</p><p>“Oh, for God’s sake,” Hunnigan sighed, “I just don’t understand what your deal is. I hate sounding this shallow but I don’t understand why we still haven’t...I mean I get it, you said you’re old fashioned about some things, but come on! What, are you saving yourself for marriage or something?”</p><p>“Yes! Let’s wait until we’re married,” Helena blurted out and Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow, looking rather unimpressed.<br/>
“You’d rather propose to me to put off consummating our relationship for a while longer than have sex with me right now. Do you hear yourself? Do you realize how insulting that sounds?”</p><p>“I do...no pun intended. And I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you.”<br/>
“Just  what is— oh, God. Okay, I see. What do you have?” Hunnigan then asked, her tone dropping from merely frustrated to slightly agitated and disappointed even, and Helena frowned deeply.</p><p>“Excuse me?” <br/>
“Well, unless you’re asexual or so repulsed by me that you don’t want to have sex—”</p><p>“That’s not it, and don’t you ever think that it’s you, I swear you are not the problem,” Helena shook her head.<br/>
“So, then what do you have? Syphilis? Chlamydia? HIV? Fricking crabs?” Hunnigan listed annoyedly and Helena couldn’t keep from chuckling. </p><p>“No, no, it’s nothing like that.”<br/>
“What then!”</p><p>“All right, all right! Okay. Uh... this is my... most personal secret, and I understand why you’re upset and I understand if you don’t want to continue seeing me after I tell you, but I hope you will take a moment to consider this from my point of view and realize why it’s not something I’d easily disclose,” Helena said and reached to take Hunnigan’s hands into her own. </p><p>“The way you’re talking is making me worry you’ll tell me you strangle kittens and puppies and get off on it.”<br/>
“Good, keep thinking that, it’ll make the shock of what the actual thing is seem less severe I’m sure,” Helena smirked a little. </p><p>“Please, just tell me what’s wrong.”<br/>
“It’s about my body, and it’s not that there’s anything wrong, per se, it’s just...Oh, God, why is this so difficult,” Helena exhaled deeply, stood up and began pacing nervously.</p><p>“You know you can talk to me and trust me. At least I hope you know that...”<br/>
“I do, and it’s not that I doubt you, it’s just not easy to overcome a lifetime of keeping a secret,” Helena said. </p><p>It was more than just a simple secret to be kept. It was laced with undiluted shame, the utter mortification of being discovered and talked about, the knowledge that she wasn’t what people would call normal, and that she never would be. Her secret had marked her in so many ways she’d lost count, all the way from thinking it was normal to have every doctor she visited tell her to take her clothes off so that they could perform an exam to not being able to do things like change in the locker room in front of everyone else because they wouldn’t know what to make of her. </p><p>It hadn’t been until the physical Helena had needed to submit to upon entering the DSO that she’d met a doctor who had told her that she didn’t need to undress, that she already knew everything she needed to know based on what Helena had told her. That had been the moment she’d realized every doctor she’d seen since she was a kid had poked and prodded at her just to satisfy their own curiosity, not out of necessity at all. She’d never felt so utterly violated as she did when she thought of that.</p><p>“Helena...whatever it is, you know I love you,” Hunnigan said softly as she stood up as well and went to put her arms over Helena’s shoulders.<br/>
“I know, but you might not like me much after you realize I’ve kept a huge secret from you,” Helena muttered hugging Hunnigan tightly for a few seconds before slowly pulling back. </p><p>“Okay, here’s the thing. I am intersex. No, not transgender, and not intending to go through ‘corrective’ surgeries because there’s nothing wrong with me, and yes, I am a woman, at least as far as I’m concerned, except for one...roughly five inch long body part, heh,” Helena chuckled sheepishly after babbling at a rapid pace to get everything out. They stared at each other in silence for a long while before Helena spoke up again, uncertain if Hunnigan had heard her correctly.</p><p>“Basically, what I’m telling you is that...I have a dick. And a kind of a vagina, it’s...mostly just this shallow ca—”<br/>
“Yes, I know what intersex means,” Hunnigan interrupted quietly, sounding even more stunned than she looked. </p><p>“I realize it’s a lot to process. But I also hope you realize it’s not like it was my intention to keep it a secret from you, but it’s not exactly something you bring up on the first date, and then the more time passed, the harder it became to just tell you, and...well, I suspect you have questions,” Helena muttered, and sat back down, reaching for her glass of wine, finding herself desperately needing a drink.</p><p>“You’d...think so but I’m still just kind of trying to understand what you just told me,” Hunnigan said slowly, stepped over to the kitchen to retrieve the wine bottle and refilled her and Helena’s glasses. </p><p>They sat in silence for a long, long time. On the TV screen the list of <em> The 50 worst movies ever made </em> ended and revealed a film called <em> The incredibly strange creatures who stopped living and became mixed-up zombies </em>as the worst one in history. The title alone made Helena kind of want to see it. </p><p>“Maybe I should go,” Helena finally broke the silence. <br/>
“...yeah, maybe you should,” Hunnigan agreed absently and when she did, Helena felt like she’d just gotten kicked in the gut. </p><p>A part of her had held on to the hope that Hunnigan would ask her to stay, that they’d talk about it more, that they’d figure this out, go to bed and make out until they fell asleep, Helena finally daring to spend the night since she would no longer need to worry about a certain body part being involved in unauthorized activity and giving away her secret. But apparently that would not happen. Not that she didn’t understand Hunnigan’s reaction, she didn’t blame her. </p><p>“...call me later?” Helena asked as she stood up and got ready to go.<br/>
“Yeah, sure, okay,” Hunnigan muttered, and Helena sighed a little; Hunnigan wouldn’t call. Why would she?</p><p>“Good night,” Helena said, leaning to kiss Hunnigan’s cheek, lingering on a while longer than necessary because she worried this might be the last time she’d ever get to do that.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em> Helena has a dick. </em>
</p><p>The thought had been looping through Hunnigan’s mind practically non stop from the moment Helena had disclosed the fact to her a few hours earlier. She didn’t know why the thought kept repeating, it just refused to go away. Perhaps a part of her insisted that if she kept repeating it long enough it would sink in properly, because right now it felt like it hadn’t really. </p><p>Once Helena had left, Hunnigan had finished the wine and done the one thing she always did when faced with an unknown, she began to research it. She’d known the meaning of the term, it was self-explanatory, quite simply put it meant a person who was between sexes, and knowing that had been enough because the subject hadn’t personally touched her. Until now. </p><p><em> Helena has a dick. Why does it matter? </em> Does <em> it matter? </em></p><p>It did and it didn’t in the same way Hunnigan’s past experiences with men mattered and didn’t. Helena wasn’t a man but at the same time her body came equipped with the offending member Hunnigan had unfortunately learned to associate with being coerced and demeaned by the person who it was attached to. </p><p>Rationally she knew Helena wasn’t like that, on the contrary, because of her looks she was more likely to be just as if not more objectified by the types who liked to think it was their right to do so. Emotionally she couldn’t stop thinking about the men she'd dated in the past and how they'd behaved just because they felt having a dick meant they could get away with murder. Most notably she thought of Lennon Hunnigan, a mistake she’d made in her early twenties. </p><p>She’d realized her mistake by the end of the wedding reception when he’d drunkenly groped her between her legs and loudly proclaimed that she was now “officially his pussy”, and to this day she couldn’t understand how she’d been so naive and stupid she’d allowed herself to be legally bound to that narcissistic misogynist. In her defense, he had been devastatingly handsome and incredibly pleasant and charming, at least for the time he’d spent manipulating and grooming her into thinking it was a privilege to serve him. </p><p>She’d left him two months after the wedding and finally filed for divorce after the required months of official separation had passed. She’d kept his last name as a reminder to stop and think before making bad decisions in the future— and partly because everyone at the agency never called her Ingrid, she was and always had been Hunnigan; she knew that changing her last name back to Romero wouldn’t change that.</p><p>Sighing, Hunnigan closed her laptop and headed into the bedroom. No amount of research would yield definite answers, there was only one person on the planet who could give those, and Hunnigan had asked her to leave. She didn’t like that she’d been so abrupt about it, and she did feel like she should apologize, but she was glad she’d taken the time to be alone and let it sink in. Trying to have a conversation that important while still reeling from the initial shock of the information given to her would’ve only ended in misunderstandings and hurt. </p><p><em> I’ll talk to her tomorrow, </em> Hunnigan decided, turned off the light and went to sleep.</p>
<hr/><p>“What are you, ten?” Leon laughed teasingly when he walked into the kitchenette and found Helena squeezing a generous amount of Hershey’s chocolate syrup into a mug filled with milk.<br/>
“Shut up, I can’t drink Jack Daniel’s at the office so I have to settle for this. It’s my comfort drink,” Helena said as she put the bottle back into the cupboard and vigorously stirred the mixture in her mug then.</p><p>“What do you need comforting for?” Leon frowned and went to pour himself a mug of coffee which he proceeded to drink black.<br/>
“I’m pretty sure Hunnigan’s gonna dump me,” Helena said.</p><p>“Oh, great, she’s gonna be insufferably moody if that’s the case.”<br/>
“Yes, Leon, the inconvenience her bad mood might cause you really is the headline here,” Helena muttered into her chocolate milk, rolling her eyes at him.</p><p>“What did you fight about?” Leon asked, growing a bit more serious. <br/>
“We didn’t fight, just...ran out of things to say.”</p><p>“I don’t know what that means,” Leon said slowly. </p><p>Helena didn’t have a chance to elaborate —not that she knew how she would’ve anyway— when Hunnigan walked into the kitchenette to grab a cup of coffee while there was still some left. Helena felt herself tense up a little at seeing her, not sure how to be right now. She noticed Leon reacting the same way, and he quickly drained his coffee cup and excused himself before Hunnigan could question their reaction. Helena was about to follow his example when Hunnigan finally addressed her.</p><p>“I wanted to apologize to you about yesterday.”<br/>
“It’s okay, I get it, you needed time to think and...make tough decisions, I assume,” Helena mumbled.</p><p>“Tough decisions?” Hunnigan repeated as she poured herself a mug.<br/>
“Well, seeing as my ego is the size of a small planet, I assumed deciding to dump me would be a tough decision, but I’m glad if it was easy for you,” Helena said, sounding a bit more venomous than she would’ve really wanted to.</p><p>“At what point did I ever speak about dumping you?” Hunnigan scoffed. <br/>
“The implication was pretty clear,” Helena said, finished her chocolate milk and carelessly dropped the mug into the sink. </p><p>She knew she was being juvenile, her act of leaving the dish into the sink without even rinsing it rather than putting it into the dishwasher was something she did right now only because she knew perfectly well how disproportionately angry dishes left in the sink made Hunnigan. To her surprise (and a little to her disappointment) Hunnigan didn’t remark on it. Instead, she reached to put her hand over Helena’s forearm to gently stall her before she’d have a chance to leave in a huff. </p><p>“It was never my intention to imply that, and I certainly wouldn’t leave it up to a mere implication, if I was leaving you, I’d straight up tell you as much, and I expect you’d do the same if you were leaving me. Right?” Hunnigan said and Helena exhaled deeply, swallowing hard against the lump forming in her throat.</p><p>Hearing Hunnigan say that made her feel so relieved she almost burst into tears. Some of her mood she was also willing to chalk up to the fact that she hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, intrusive thoughts poking at her from all angles, the hurtful things she’d heard during her life from doctors or the few friends she’d dared to tell the truth to amplified by imagining Hunnigan thinking the same way as they had.</p><p>
  <em> If that were me, I’d kill myself.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You’re fortunate because your penis is only slightly below average in size, you can transition and live your life as a quite normal male. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Freak. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> So wait, what are you, like a shemale? </em>
</p><p>Helena realized her mistake had been putting thoughts into Hunnigan’s head and words into her mouth, thoughts and words she hadn’t expressed at any point. </p><p>“Listen,” Hunnigan spoke again, put her mug away and tentatively reached to put her arms around Helena’s waist and pulled her closer. “I really want to talk to you, properly. I realize I didn’t handle things great last night, but if you feel up to trying to have that conversation again, I’d like that.”</p><p>“I do want to talk to you, I’m just not sure what to say,” Helena said quietly and closed her eyes when Hunnigan leaned to press her forehead against Helena’s.<br/>
“Come over for dinner, I’ll make something good and we’ll chat, okay?” Hunnigan suggested.</p><p>“I would love that,” Helena agreed.<br/>
“Good,” Hunnigan smiled, pressed a soft kiss onto Helena’s lips and slowly pulled back then, explained she had to get back to work and excused herself. </p><p>Helena inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, her breath somewhat shaky as she let herself finally feel relieved since it had been confirmed this wasn’t the end of her and Hunnigan after all. She picked up her mug, rinsed it and put it in the dishwasher.</p>
<hr/><p>Helena loved watching Hunnigan cook, all the way from witnessing how nimbly she sharpened a knife to her using it to chop ingredients with speed and precision that made Helena wonder how she still had all her fingers. She loved the way Hunnigan moved, how easy she made it all look, how her nose crinkled when she tasted the food and it didn’t have enough salt, the carefree but still somehow always accurate pinches of seasoning followed by a quick staccato of three claps as she wiped her hands on each other before running them across the towel tucked underneath the hem of the apron tied around her waist. </p><p>Helena typically offered to help, but Hunnigan routinely turned her down or gave her a job you’d give to a four year old, which was just as well; Helena knew herself to be about as useful as a toddler in the kitchen. She and Hunnigan both preferred that she stay out of the way. </p><p>Hunnigan tossed pieces of red and yellow bell pepper, garlic and onion into a cast iron skillet before following them up with salt and pepper. Once they were done, she spread them on a piece of flank steak, added mozzarella and rolled the steak up. She pierced the roll with wooden skewers to keep it from unfolding, placing the skewers about an inch apart from each other before cutting the meat up, proceeding to brown the pieces before moving them into the oven. </p><p>Typically she and Helena would’ve spent the half or so an hour wait talking and having a glass or two of wine, but today the mood was... not tense or uncomfortable exactly, but awkward. It was as if neither knew what to say, both painfully aware of the elephant in the room, desperately wanting to bring it up and talk about it, neither being able to actually do it because the topic was just so...weird.</p><p>Finally, Helena decided to break the ice and leaned back in her chair, gesturing toward her crotch with her hands as she half shrugged while speaking.</p><p>“It ain’t gonna suck itself.”</p><p>Hunnigan snorted loudly, a dribble of red wine falling from her nose as she began to laugh uncontrollably, Helena joining her, their mirth escalating to the point of them both laughing hysterically for several minutes until they were out of breath, tears of laughter brimming in their eyes. </p><p>“Oh, God, I love you,” Hunnigan sniffled, still chuckling as she wiped her eyes, and inhaled deeply. <br/>
“I love you too,” Helena smiled. </p><p>Hunnigan got up to check on the food and to Helena’s surprise, she didn’t return to her chair but instead stepped up to Helena. She straddled Helena’s thighs and put her arms over her shoulders and Helena swallowed hard. </p><p>“Does this make you uncomfortable?” Hunnigan asked and Helena shook her head.</p><p>“No.”<br/>
“Good.”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you, especially since I know how shitty Lennon was to you, I can’t imagine you take well to people hiding their true selves from you,” Helena whispered.<br/>
“It’s fine, I understand why you did. As for Lennon, he was my mistake, not yours and therefore not your responsibility,” Hunnigan said and ran her fingers through Helena’s hair. </p><p>“If I’m honest...even I didn’t completely come to terms with the whole situation until relatively recently. My whole life everyone who knows has been telling me to pick a side, you know. Get surgery, be either or, because you can’t be both, that’s just wrong,” Helena muttered.</p><p>“According to whose rules?”<br/>
“My thoughts exactly,” Helena smiled a little, feeling her heart swell at the question Hunnigan had posed, a question which in its simplicity spoke volumes suggesting Hunnigan understood. Helena thought of herself rather stupid when she looked back on last night and how quickly she’d assumed Hunnigan would be like everyone else. She should’ve learned by now that Hunnigan wasn’t like anyone. </p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with me, and as inconvenient and awkward as being this way can be at times, I don’t want to change it. I don’t have a problem with my anatomy, it’s everyone else who seems to have one, or at the very least they have a problem with me being so okay with myself. I guess it’s not appropriate for someone who doesn’t fit into a neat little box labeled ‘normal’ to accept themselves the way I do.”</p><p>“Anyone who asks you to change who you are just so you could fit into their definition of ‘normal’ is an idiot, and I’m happy you’ve stood up for yourself, and even happier to hear you’ve accepted yourself,” Hunnigan said softly.</p><p>“Thank you, that...that means a lot to me,” Helena swallowed hard and hugged Hunnigan tightly to herself, nuzzling the spot between her neck and shoulder. They remained there, simply holding each other for several minutes before Hunnigan stood up once more and went to take the food from the oven. </p><p>“And just to remind you, my offer to answer any questions you might have still stands, I’m used to people having those, so don’t worry about it, I won’t be offended, I promise,” Helena said.</p><p>“Well...I don’t really have any serious questions, you pretty much just answered the important ones when you told me you’re okay physically and otherwise,” Hunnigan shrugged as she plated the vegetable stuffed steak rolls and left them to rest. </p><p>“But you do have something on your mind. What is it, don’t be shy,” Helena smirked and Hunnigan bit her lower lip as she took a while to decide how to word it.</p><p>“Five inches, you said?” she finally spoke and Helena snorted.<br/>
“ <em> That’s </em> what you memorized about the conversation? Fine, I was rounding up a bit, it could just as well be four and a half.”</p><p>“Just say four point seven,” Hunnigan interjected, rolling her eyes.<br/>
“Is that a problem? Because, I mean, until just now you had no reason to think there’d be <em> any </em> inches involved in our sex life,” Helena said and Hunnigan grinned.</p><p>“Dildos have been invented, you know,” she teased.<br/>
“Keep talking and dildos will be the only dick you’ll get,” Helena humphed and crossed her arms over her abdomen in an exaggerated pouty gesture before laughing a little. </p><p>“Well, for what it’s worth and for the record...” Hunnigan began as she poured them more wine, “I prefer them shorter because contrary to the popular misconception, getting one’s cervix poked and bruised isn’t pleasurable at all.”</p><p>***</p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hunnigan had spent many evenings leaning into Helena, resting her head on Helena’s chest and her arm over Helena’s midsection, enjoying the gentle pressure of Helena’s arm protectively over her shoulders as they cuddled on the couch and watched a movie or binged on a favorite TV series. But tonight she found herself distracted, unable to keep her eyes from wandering down, shamelessly staring at Helena’s crotch when she knew Helena wouldn’t notice, trying to determine where exactly the bulge was, the task proving rather difficult.</p><p><em> She’s probably gotten very good at hiding it for obvious reasons, </em> Hunnigan mused and felt herself startle a little when Helena laughed at something happening on the screen. She let out a hollow chuckle, pretending she’d been paying attention when she hadn’t, and it wasn’t enough to fool Helena.</p><p>“What’s on your mind?” she asked and Hunnigan was certain she already had a pretty damn good idea but she seemed determined to force Hunnigan to admit that she really <em> did </em> want to see Helena’s dick. But admitting such a thing would’ve meant she was just as bad as the doctors Helena had spoken of, the ones who’d made it their mission to poke and prod just because they’d had a chance to do so and get away with it. Helena had said she didn’t mind that from Hunnigan, she practically welcomed the scrutiny and curiosity from her because she loved her and was glad to share with Hunnigan all the intimate details of herself, but it didn’t make Hunnigan feel any less conflicted about it.</p><p>“You,” she said, not really answering the question but not really lying either. Helena let out an amused scoff and sat up straight, Hunnigan doing the same. Helena reached to put her hand on the back of Hunnigan’s knee and gently tugged on her, and she eased into the gesture, moving to straddle Helena’s lap, her arms finding their way over Helena’s shoulders in a familiar manner as Helena’s wrapped around Hunnigan’s midsection. </p><p>“What of me?” she smirked, running her hands up Hunnigan’s back.</p><p>“I was actually thinking about what you said earlier about it not sucking itself,” Hunnigan said and Helena’s face turned so red Hunnigan worried for a moment she’d literally blush to death. Clearly that hadn’t been the answer she’d expected to hear.</p><p>“You...realize I was joking, right?” Helena said, clearing her throat awkwardly.</p><p>“I do,” Hunnigan nodded before leaning into Helena so that her lips were by Helena’s ear, “but what I’m saying is that if you want...I would be more than happy to do that for you,” she whispered and smiled when she felt Helena shudder and heard her breath turn heavy. </p><p>“Oh—kay, uh, there’s one more thing I gotta tell you,” Helena managed and Hunnigan leaned back, her eyebrow arching high. What else could Helena possibly have kept from her? <br/>
“All right?” </p><p>“I’ve never...you know, for obvious reasons it’s not like it’s been an option really, so I’ve...never done this before.”<br/>
“Oh? Oh! Well, yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Hunnigan pursed her lips as she thought about it. </p><p>“Is that a problem?”<br/>
“Why would it be?” Hunnigan chuckled and cupped Helena’s cheek with her hand. “Nothing about you is a problem,” she then added in a murmur and leaned to kiss Helena’s lips softly. </p><p>“You’re the first person who has ever said that to me...or been unconditional in any other way either,” Helena mumbled into the kiss.</p><p><em> I’m hoping to be the first person to do a lot of things for you and with you, </em> Hunnigan thought but decided against saying it out loud. </p><p>“Their loss then, isn’t it,” she said and slowly brought her hands over to Helena’s belt buckle, moving so slowly it was bordering on a bit ridiculous, but she wanted to make sure Helena had ample time to intercept if she wanted to. She didn’t, and Hunnigan slipped off from Helena’s lap, settling to sit by her. She leaned into another kiss, a more passionate and demanding one as her hands worked to undo the buttons of Helena’s jeans. Once undone, she pushed the fabric out of the way and flattened her palm over Helena’s abdomen, slowly slipping it lower until the tips of her fingers were tucked underneath the waistband of Helena’s underwear. </p><p>“Do you want me to stop?” Hunnigan paused to ask.<br/>
“Do you want to stop?” Helena inquired, her voice having grown rather hoarse.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“I don’t want you to either,” Helena breathed, and Hunnigan kissed her again, pushing her hand lower and past the edge of the fabric and over Helena’s cock. She wrapped her hand around it and gave it a squeeze, causing Helena to whimper into the kiss as she did. Helena lifted her hips a little and shoved her jeans and underwear halfway down her thighs and out of the way offering Hunnigan more room to work and explore.</p><p>Hunnigan was tempted to break the kiss and take a look but decided not to. Instead, she focused on what she was feeling. The skin underneath her hand was smooth and hot, and while the shaft was shorter than average, Hunnigan felt what it lacked in length it did nicely make up for in girth. </p><p><em> Huh...I didn’t expect that for some reason, </em> Hunnigan thought when she felt a set of balls press against the side of her hand. She loosened her grip on the cock and cupped them, causing Helena to inhale sharply through her nose, but when she didn’t ask Hunnigan to stop, she continued exploring further, the tips of her fingers brushing over the narrow opening that was underneath the balls. </p><p>Hunnigan broke the kiss and slid off the couch, moving to stand on her knees in front of Helena, finally giving herself the permission to look but just for a glance, she didn’t want to stare even if Helena insisted she could because she was so used to it. What a terrible thing to get used to.</p><p>Helena’s cock was smooth aside from a few thin veins running along the shaft, the head of it tinted a faint shade of dark red, a drop of clear fluid gathered in the slit at its center. It looked...different from what she’d seen before (and considering age and sex, she’d seen a lot of dicks during her life, the majority of them without really wanting to). While the vulva she could see just behind the scrotum certainly made for a large part of the difference, the skin of the cock also looked softer and smoother, and for the lack of a better word, feminine, making it...</p><p><em> Unintimidating, </em> Hunnigan realized, because this was the first time in her life that she was face-to-face with a cock and <em> didn’t </em> feel pressured or coerced into doing something to help the person it was attached to deal with their erection.</p><p>“So, what do you think?” Helena inquired and it wasn’t until she spoke that Hunnigan realized she <em> had </em> actually been shamelessly staring despite her best intentions.</p><p>“I think I’ve never wanted to suck a dick as much as I do now,” Hunnigan smirked and Helena chuckled sheepishly, her laughter dissolving quickly into a sharp inhale while muttering the words “Oh, God” when Hunnigan put her hand around the shaft and lowered her head, enclosing her lips around the head of Helena’s cock. </p><p>She sucked on it, flattening her tongue against the underside of it before swirling it around it, tilting her head a little to the side every now and then to get a different angle, allowing a generous amount of her saliva coat the shaft and drip along it. Helena threw her head back, her fingernails digging into the couch cushions, her abdomen undulating and tensing up as she breathed heavily.  </p><p>Hunnigan wrapped her hand around the shaft and held it firmly, giving it a few slow pumps as she focused most of her attention on the head, letting her tongue and lips do most of the work, coaxing incoherent breathy moans from Helena, the sound of her making Hunnigan feel a sense of pride swell in her chest as she heard the evidence of Helena’s enjoyment. It wasn’t long after that when Hunnigan felt Helena cock throb and swell in her hand, the contractions at the base a tell-tale sign of Helena’s pleasure nearing its peak. </p><p>“Ingrid...I’m gonna—” Helena began to inform her of what she already knew, and Hunnigan sped up a little until Helena went rigid and came, the sudden spill of warm, salty fluid spreading over Hunnigan’s tongue taking her by surprise and she swallowed on a reflex. She hadn’t expected there to be cum. She couldn’t say why she’d thought it wouldn’t be there, evidently Helena had the necessary equipment. </p><p>Helena caught her breath after a while, the trembles fading, the shaft of her cock slowly softening and Hunnigan let it slide from her mouth. </p><p>“I can’t believe you just did that,” Helena exhaled, still leaning back, her eyes closed.<br/>
“Why not?” Hunnigan chuckled and got up from the floor, moving to take a seat next to her. </p><p>“Well, I didn’t think you would voluntarily put a dick in your mouth, that’s all,” Helena said and tugged on her pants, covering herself but not bothering to button and buckle up.<br/>
“I wouldn’t unless it’s attached to a person I love,” Hunnigan countered with a smirk and kissed Helena’s cheek, leaning into her and snuggling into the side of her neck as Helena put her arm over Hunnigan’s shoulders and held her close. </p><p>“I love you too,” Helena said and reached to rest her hand on Hunnigan’s knee, running it slowly up along the outer side of her thigh, pausing to give her ass a firm squeeze before moving her hand back down. She turned a little so she could face Hunnigan easier and captured her lips into a gentle kiss which she slowly deepened as her hand explored Hunnigan’s body further, slipping up along her side, tentatively pausing to rest against the side of Hunnigan’s breast, the hesitation a silent request for permission. </p><p>“You can touch me if you want,” Hunnigan breathed in between kisses and Helena heeded her words, moving her hand to cup Hunnigan’s breast, her thumb eagerly seeking out the hardening nipple to tease. Hunnigan exhaled an approving hum into the kiss after a while when Helena moved her hand over Hunnigan’s abdomen and to the waist of her jeans. </p><p>She undid the button with a deceptively effortless pinch and tugged the zipper down before slipping her hand between Hunnigan’s legs, pressing her fingers against the warm soft flesh, taking a moment to just feel her before slowly parting the lips slightly and discovering a copious amount of slick wetness she proceeded to smear further.</p><p>“That feels good,” Hunnigan encouraged when Helena pressed her middle finger against her tighter and rubbed the length of it by the side of Hunnigan’s clit before bringing her index finger to do the same on the other side, gently pinching the sensitive flesh between her fingers as she rubbed up and down in slow deliberate movements. Hunnigan pushed her hips forward against Helena’s hand, needing a little more pressure, a little more speed, and Helena happily obliged, her inexperience rendering her a tiny bit clumsy perhaps, but not so much that it would’ve thrown Hunnigan off her rhythm. </p><p>She tightened her grip on Helena, rocking harder against her hand, the sweet friction of Helena’s fingers against her clit quickly building the delicate pressure until Hunnigan couldn’t contain it and the orgasm erupted through her, her body tensing and shuddering, her breathing heavy and sharp before it evened out  into long relaxed and satisfied breaths. </p><p>“You sure you haven’t done this before?” she exhaled by Helena’s ear as she rested slumped against her, and Helena chuckled quietly, her hand still softly and slowly massaging the damp flesh between Hunnigan’s legs, gently easing her back from the height of her pleasure.</p><p>“I think I’d remember,” Helena commented. <br/>
“I’d certainly hope so,” Hunnigan said and leaned back, once again finding herself where she started, resting against Helena’s side, feeling loved and safe underneath the weight of Helena’s arm protectively around her shoulders. Only now their appearances and especially their jeans looked disheveled, buttons and zippers undone and left as such, damp stains soaking into the fabric. </p><p>Hunnigan noticed Helena had begun to harden again while fingering her, and couldn’t resist the temptation to move her hand over to rest on the subtle bulge. Helena twitched in response to the touch.</p><p>“Is this okay?”<br/>
“Yeah, I’m not hypersensitive, I just wasn’t expecting that,” Helena assured as she tilted her head back and rested her left arm over her eyes, seeming a little sleepy as she slumped against the backrest. </p><p>“Okay, good,” Hunnigan said and pushed Helena’s underwear down and out of the way, exposing the hardening cock so that she could touch it freely. <br/>
“What are you doing?” Helena asked, the smile on her lips audible in her voice. </p><p>“Playing with your dick,” Hunnigan stated matter-of-factly as she wrapped her fingers around the semi-hard member, massaging the shaft with her thumb, then flipped it upward so that it was pointing at Helena’s navel as it rested on her abdomen.</p><p>“Why?” Helena chuckled. <br/>
“Because I like your dick, it’s nice,” Hunnigan shrugged, rubbing her palm against the underside of the cock, the tips of her fingers stroking against the balls beneath it. </p><p>“It’s nice?” Helena questioned chortling a little.<br/>
“Yes, the skin is so soft it’s very nice to touch, I might use and abuse you as a stress toy in the future,” Hunnigan shrugged one shoulder and grinned a little when she felt the cock twitch and grow harder under her hand. </p><p>“It is not a toy, but if you insist, be my guest,” Helena laughed softly, then inhaled sharply and moaned a little when Hunnigan squeezed her fist around the shaft which was quickly growing ready for action again.</p><p>“Helena?”<br/>
“Ingrid?” </p><p>“Bed?”<br/>
“Yes.”</p>
<hr/><p>Helena lay on top of Hunnigan, trading slow passionate kisses with her until Hunnigan wrapped her legs around Helena’s hips and pushed herself against Helena tighter. It was all the encouragement she needed and she adjusted her hips a little, slowly easing the head of her cock inside, almost embarrassed by the noise she heard herself make as she did. </p><p>Hunnigan felt so warm and slick but at the same time there was a gentle squeeze and a resistance that offered just the perfect friction. Or it undoubtedly would when Helena would finally be able to bring herself to move; for now she was still too stunned by the unfamiliar and pleasant sensation to do anything, not to mention she worried she’d come before managing two strokes if she moved now. </p><p>“Everything okay?” Hunnigan whispered with a smile, running her hands through Helena’s hair.</p><p>“Yes, I just—” Helena began but cut herself off, realizing it would sound rather silly to say out loud that she was quite ecstatic just being here, marveling at the fact that Hunnigan was willing to share herself with her in this way, honored that she would, simply enjoying being connected to her this way.</p><p>“I just can’t believe I’m inside you,” she said sheepishly and Hunnigan smiled, either not caring or choosing to ignore the somewhat awkward phrase. She didn’t say anything, instead she clenched her inner muscles and Helena moaned softly at the slick walls squeezing around her cock. </p><p>Finally, she moved her hips, withdrawing and pushing back in slowly, her intention to keep the pace calm but with every thrust she found it becoming more and more difficult to do so as her desire to prolong the enjoyment and to please Hunnigan clashed with her urge to thrust harder and faster, to come. She had to stop and hold back.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Hunnigan asked and Helena felt embarrassed.<br/>
“I just...want to please you too,” she muttered breathing heavily, and Hunnigan smiled, drew Helena into another kiss and gently caressed her face as she cupped it with her hands.</p><p>“Don’t worry about that, we’ll get there later, but right now, I just want <em> you </em> to enjoy your first time,” she assured with a sultry grin and tightened her legs around Helena’s waist, encouraging her to continue. </p><p>“I love you,” Helena whispered as she sunk back into Hunnigan, earning a deep exhale of pleasure from her as she did.</p><p>“And I love you,” Hunnigan breathed, her fingers digging deep into the muscles of Helena’s back as she held onto her and pressed her hips against Helena, the small movement demanding in its nature, a silent plea for Helena to push deeper, and she did. She managed to get only a few nearly frantic thrusts in before she felt the pulse climb up along the shaft of her cock, the overwhelming pressure finally releasing, and she came hard. </p><p>Hunnigan held onto her, stroking her back, kissing her neck, keeping her close as the orgasm slowly began to fade into gentle aftershocks, and Helena finally just collapsed rolling lay next to Hunnigan, feeling drained, satisfied, and euphoric. </p><p>“That was...amazing,” she said and Hunnigan smiled, turned to lay on her side as well and nudged Helena a little so that she moved closer to the other edge of the bed, shifting them both away from the wet smear of their combined bodily fluids gathered on the sheet, neither one bothering to worry about getting it cleaned right now. </p><p>“Yes it was,” Hunnigan agreed as she snuggled into Helena, their legs intertwined, their arms firmly around each other.<br/>
“Do you want me to—?” Helena trailed off, sliding her hand lower to Hunnigan’s hip and over to the buttock, giving it a squeeze.</p><p>“It’s okay, I’m pretty tired and quite satisfied as is,” Hunnigan said and as happily as Helena would’ve gone down on her to even out their score, she was admittedly relieved to hear Hunnigan too was ready to just get some sleep. </p><p>“You’re an incredible woman,” Helena muttered sleepily and Hunnigan chuckled softly.<br/>
“Right back at you,” she smiled, kissed Helena once more and closed her eyes, their breaths eventually evening out to the same rhythm as they began to drift off to sleep.</p><p>Maybe it wasn’t a perfect first time, but it was theirs.</p><p>***</p>
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